The Mother I Remember

This has taken me a while to be able to write. Not because I haven't wanted to but because emotions are still close to the surface.
Mom was always around when I was younger. There were lots of times that she worked outside the house but I always knew her heart was at home with us. I remember when I was just starting school and learning to write my name and having a hard time making "S". One night I was really upset because I just couldn't get the hang of it and sat under the kitchen table crying. When Mom found out what was wrong she sat with me and helped me until I was successful making the "S". I was sure I was never going to get the hang of it and I would go all through life writing my name and no one would be able to read it.
Mom didn't get mad very often but when she did, she was really mad. I don't ever remember her being that mad at me, but I did she her mad at times. Once she blew up, she was over it and no one would have known she had even been mad. She never held a grudge.
Mom's day off of work usually meant laundry day. She had a wringer washer and the clothes were hung on the line to dry. I think I was in Jr. High when she finally got regular washer and dryer. Even then the towels and sheets were hung out to dry because she loved the smell.
I remember Mom playing catch with me a lot. She could never get the hang of throwing over hand but boy could she whip out an underhand throw.
The fall meant time to can. I remember weeks and weeks of canning tomatoes, peaches, plums and any other kind of fruit she could get to can. We would all be in the kitchen working together until everything was done. Then it was Dad and the boy's job to take the bottles of fruit down stairs.
As I grew older she was willing to go places with me and my friends. Even though no other moms were going or invited, we all wanted her to come with us. I remember her going to the drive-in with us one night to watch, "Paint Your Wagon." She laughed so hard that we had to roll up the windows because we were embarrassed how hard she was laughing. Every time I've seen that movie since It brings back memories of Mom laughing.
It was hard for Mom when Gary and I left for Alaska shortly after being married. A co-worker's son who worked in Fairbanks Alaska had told mom that there wasn't running water and they still used out houses. Mom didn't have any reason not to believe him and was concerned what our living conditions would be like. She was sure relieved when I called her and let her know we had running water and indoor plumbing. Since we didn't have a phone, I would call collect about once a month and she always accepted the charges. Those phone calls meant so much to me. I remember when Kim was born and I called her. I know I felt closer to her then, than ever before. Her and Dad were able to come up in July and visit. I picked them up at the airport and she immediately took Kim. As we were walking out of the airport, she asked me where the blanket was for Kim. I just laughed because it was 95 degrees outside.
I went so long past my due date with Jen that I think she gave upon me ever having her. I called her at work at the Cheese Factory to tell I'd finally had the baby. Everything was fine until I told her she weighed 9 lbs. Then she just started crying. I heard a co-worker asking her if ever thing was OK. She was just so relieved that she had been born she couldn't contain her emotions.
I always knew I could call her for anything and she'd always listen and help me, without judging. As our children were growing up there were numerous times that I sought her advice.
The years seemed to fly by and Mom started showing her age. I look back on her fight with breast cancer and I'm amazed at how she so gracefully fought the fight. It wasn't until her last chemo appointment that I found out how many tears she had cried after loosing her hair. She would tell us she was having a hard day, but she never let on how hard it had been, until months after she was finished with chemo. She's my hero. After Dad died it seemed she turned to her children for advice and help. I treasure the times I spent with her. She loved the times we went to Salt Lake and spent a few days in a motel pampering her. I remember taking her to The Taste of Home cooking show and her holding all the dolls we had bought. The time she out walked us all at IKEA. She didn't get out shopping much and loved to just look. When I was able to visit I often felt guilty because I didn't do much around the house for her. She just wanted me to sit and visit. I got to go with her to lunch one time with The Red Hat women and knew immediately why she loved it so much. They treated her like a queen.
I will always treasure that I could spend the last week of her life with her. She knew her time on earth was about over. She made sure all her family knew she loved them. One night I was sitting by her holding her hand and she asked me to hold her. I put my arm under her head and wrapped my other arm around her. She reached up and gave me a hug. That was my last hug from her. It was such a privilege to care for her and in a very small way repay her for all she's done for me over the years.
Even as weak as she was, as the time got closer for her to leave this life she never complained. She was still concerned about each of us and was so happy all her children were there and that we were all happy to be with each other. Mom taught me that the most important relationships we can have is with our families. I regret the times that for selfish reasons I didn't keep in contact with or would complain about one of my siblings to her. I know her heart must have ached when she'd hear me complain about them. I'm grateful for forgiveness and the second change they have given me. I'm grateful that Mom died knowing we all love each other and were there for each other.
These are just a few memories I want to pass on hopefully for generations to come. I miss the nightly phone calls and her chipper hello. I'm happy she's with Dad again and that she's able to walk and not be out of breath. I'm sure that yesterday was the best Father's Day he's had in the last 4 years. The Lord blessed me when he gave me to Mom.